Bitching

I swer to fucking god if I hear one more thing about people being obssessed with other I'm going to fucking puke. Sheesh. With that said on to more pressing matters...

I'm in a big rut. Huge rut. It seems like life likes to shove more shit in my face CONSTANTLY. The difference between me and the usual general public, I have the worst luck ever. Nothing ever works out even when I remain positive. But I keep pushing on. I don't know what else I can do.

My mother and I had a lovely arguement last week. One more month Carol....one more month. We get along a LOT better when we don't live together.

So in the past week I've found out that my mother's car is broken and if it costs more then 300 dollars to fix (most of which I get to fund for her. Of course, my mom says no one helps her. Right.) then she's going to get rid of it leaving us with no car, I might not have any way to get to college because of SOMEONE ElSE'S mistake (*grumble grumble*), my money is flying out faster then I want and I'm starting to dislike things and people I once cared about.

I'm contemplating leaving SK. For good. Just disconnecting myself from everything save for maybe ten people. The place has brought me nothing but drama, stupidity, and pain. I constantly care about people that could give two shits about me. (Oh just a great pattern Carol.) Or only care when they find out I'm female and turn around and ignore me when someone "better looking" comes along. I'm fucking sick of that shit. I'm fucking sick of everything.

Seafood is pissing me off too. Mike fucking slacks off all the damn time and I have to cover his ass. He shows up late and everyone wonders why I don't get all the production done. But of course, everything is my fault. It always is. Guh. And Zach constantly steals all the damn time. King crab is fucking 20 bucks a pound and you are going to steam some up for dinner Zach. What the FUCK!? And when I don't know something everyone gets an attitude. I can't take this stupid shit anymore. Not to mention that the entire department is changing so I might not even want to go back.

I'm so fucking close its not funny. Fucking promises. Fucking guilt. Fucking everything. And I can't go into everything on here or with people. No one gives a shit. I've needed people plenty lately and they are no where to be found. Hence, me wanting to cut myself off entirely. It'll make things a hell of a lot easier. But then I'll be the bad guy cause I wasn't there to hear them tell me the latest escapade of their sexual realtionship or ask for my advice on anything and everything.

Just fuck it. I'm going to try and sleep so I can go and enjoy a LOVELY day at work. At least I found my wallet. =/

(no subject)

So I found out that someone who used to tease me in middle school is now a crack addicted girl who almost married a real loser. Now I knew about the marriage part but not the crack addicted part. Hrm...I think I need more time to reflect on this before I say anything.

Its so weird to find out things about people that have played a large or even a small part in your life. And heck, I've only been gone from whb for 2 years and out of high school for 1. Whats going to happen when its 10? Thinking about it gives me the chills.

Gah, its too small of a world for my tastes. And I'm too damn curious.

Edit: You go out of your way for her but can't for me. Apparently to get any respect from your close friends you need to ignore their existance entirely, for over a year, and then you can get them looking for you. What the fuck?