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Yeah, I'm bitching.
May. 1st, 2004 08:31 pmHmm, contemplating future plans as of right now. I'm going to spell them out basically because I'm tired of being asked "Hey, when you move back to Long Island can we hang out?" Cause I'm not moving back to Long Island and haven't been since at the very least Feb. and the very most Dec.
I have my last final on the 12th. I was going to stay on Long Island for two days, go to the Poet's Cafe, and then on the 15th drive all the way up to Cohoes (15 min north of Albany). Mind you, thats at the very least a four hour drive without traffic. And it adds at least a half a tank of gas and 8 bucks in tolls just to get to the Poet's Cafe when I already have to pay for gas to Cohoes and back as well as tolls and see IF my mom pays me back. It'd take about 20 bucks to do the Poet's Cafe. I have 56. So that means going into textbook money for the fall. Which I am willing to do because its for my friends and I will most likely be working at Price Chopper (a supermarket) this summer.
And I don't think that you people realise how hard this stuff is to do. How much money I've spent just to see my friends. When I was in Oneonta I spent over 400 to come to the island all those times. My entire summer savings. I paid for all those times. I scheduled all the visits (minus the NYC trip which was mostly Al) and coordinated all the schedules around other people. And I'm still doing this. Still to this day, I am the one planning everything, spending everything, and feeling like crap when people don't realise how hard it is. it'd be one thing if this was one person, but this happens all the damn time. I'm not made of money, I dont' get outside help (yes, Jordan does drive me. But i think me filling his gas tank, his stomach, and his pockets with money pays him back enough. And besides, he likes all my friends and to the best of my knowledge you all like him.) I do this all on my own for the most part.
I offer to be there for everyone (witht a few exceptions due to certain events). I give advice to the best of my knowledge and I try. I don't know what else you people expect. I don't know what else I can do.
For once, I'm thinking of saying screw you all, I'm going to do things for myself. And this time, I'm damn serious. This money could go to better things (let's say, the SK meetup in Europe that I desperately want to go to for many reasons.) Or the SK meetup in Rhode Island (if that even happens) Or hell, toward any of the bajillion SK meetups that I've been invited to. Call my stupid, but my SK friends have really been there for me lately. Gale, Angelus, Elegy, BotD, Angus (hugs count!), Ainex, Rishi, Slacker, are just some of the numerous people that have offered help in many areas of my life lately.
And if you want to call me selfish for that, go ahead.
I have my last final on the 12th. I was going to stay on Long Island for two days, go to the Poet's Cafe, and then on the 15th drive all the way up to Cohoes (15 min north of Albany). Mind you, thats at the very least a four hour drive without traffic. And it adds at least a half a tank of gas and 8 bucks in tolls just to get to the Poet's Cafe when I already have to pay for gas to Cohoes and back as well as tolls and see IF my mom pays me back. It'd take about 20 bucks to do the Poet's Cafe. I have 56. So that means going into textbook money for the fall. Which I am willing to do because its for my friends and I will most likely be working at Price Chopper (a supermarket) this summer.
And I don't think that you people realise how hard this stuff is to do. How much money I've spent just to see my friends. When I was in Oneonta I spent over 400 to come to the island all those times. My entire summer savings. I paid for all those times. I scheduled all the visits (minus the NYC trip which was mostly Al) and coordinated all the schedules around other people. And I'm still doing this. Still to this day, I am the one planning everything, spending everything, and feeling like crap when people don't realise how hard it is. it'd be one thing if this was one person, but this happens all the damn time. I'm not made of money, I dont' get outside help (yes, Jordan does drive me. But i think me filling his gas tank, his stomach, and his pockets with money pays him back enough. And besides, he likes all my friends and to the best of my knowledge you all like him.) I do this all on my own for the most part.
I offer to be there for everyone (witht a few exceptions due to certain events). I give advice to the best of my knowledge and I try. I don't know what else you people expect. I don't know what else I can do.
For once, I'm thinking of saying screw you all, I'm going to do things for myself. And this time, I'm damn serious. This money could go to better things (let's say, the SK meetup in Europe that I desperately want to go to for many reasons.) Or the SK meetup in Rhode Island (if that even happens) Or hell, toward any of the bajillion SK meetups that I've been invited to. Call my stupid, but my SK friends have really been there for me lately. Gale, Angelus, Elegy, BotD, Angus (hugs count!), Ainex, Rishi, Slacker, are just some of the numerous people that have offered help in many areas of my life lately.
And if you want to call me selfish for that, go ahead.
